{"id":3824,"date":"2025-04-01T12:52:30","date_gmt":"2025-04-01T12:52:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/?p=3824"},"modified":"2025-04-03T18:32:16","modified_gmt":"2025-04-03T18:32:16","slug":"chappell-roans-controversial-comments-exposed-a-divide-that-mothers-are-sick-of","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/index.php\/2025\/04\/01\/chappell-roans-controversial-comments-exposed-a-divide-that-mothers-are-sick-of\/","title":{"rendered":"Chappell Roan\u2019s controversial comments exposed a divide that mothers are sick of"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Social media has blown up with those on both sides of the fence reacting (Picture: ETIENNE LAURENT\/AFP\/ Getty)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Chappell Roan<\/a> has sparked controversy by saying that all of her friends who have kids are \u2018in hell\u2019.<\/p>\n

In the March 26 episode of the Call Her Daddy podcast<\/a>, she went on to say: \u2018I actually don\u2019t know anyone who is happy and has children at this age. I have literally not met anyone who is happy, anyone who has light in their eyes, anyone who has slept<\/a>.\u2019<\/p>\n

Whether or not she meant to, she touched a nerve. That\u2019s an understatement actually. She whacked it with a cattle prod and, in the days since, social media has blown up with people on both sides of the fence reacting.<\/p>\n

On one side, you have childfree people<\/a> agreeing with Chappell, applauding her for saying it how it is. And on the other, you have mothers intent on setting the record straight.<\/p>\n

Oh my god, I hate all of the in-fighting.<\/p>\n

At a time when motherhood \u2013 womanhood, actually \u2013 is so politicised, I feel the divide between us on this issue only serves to make us weak in a way we cannot afford to be right now. <\/p>\n

\n
\n\t\t\"Tired\t<\/div>
I’m someone who is absolutely exhausted thanks to a sleep-averse toddler and a newborn (Picture: Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

American women have had their right to choose what to do with their own bodies ripped from them, UK women are facing colossal childcare costs<\/a> that are forcing them out the workforce at a devastating rate, and the rise of conservatism online is seeing more and more childfree women criticised and judged for their own choices.<\/p>\n

As someone who is absolutely exhausted thanks to a sleep-averse toddler <\/a>and a newborn, I\u2019m not sure I\u2019m making a lot of sense at the moment. But I must say that I personally enjoy motherhood.<\/p>\n

But more interesting than my own views on the subject, I think, is the emotionally-charged nature of this topic and getting to the bottom of why<\/em> some mothers might be feeling like \u2018hell\u2019.<\/p>\n

The crux of this is that from as early as we are cognisant, little girls are told that having children will fulfil them. Subliminally and overtly, we are pretty much conditioned to believe that having children is our life\u2019s purpose. This really is a message that doesn\u2019t do anyone any good.<\/p>\n

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Well, therein lies the trigger. It took becoming a mother for me to learn that the formula was a little bit more complicated than baby = fulfilment. <\/p>\n<p>Because while children are incredibly fulfilling, they will not necessarily completely fulfil you. That is not their job, nor their role. And to be honest, the coolest baby in the world is going to be hard pushed being enough fulfilment that a mother can ignore the society that she lives in.<\/p>\n<p>The society that told her that she needed to <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2023\/08\/15\/helen-skelton-quitting-is-proof-of-one-thing-working-mums-know-to-be-true-19335267\/\">\u2018have it all\u2019<\/a> \u2013 the job, the family, the body, the friends, the money, the beauty, the time, the peace, the joy. The reality is, we can\u2019t have all of that. At least, not all at once.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"img-container shareable-item wp-caption\">\n<div class=\"img-wrap\">\n\t\t<img width=\"646\" height=\"394\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"article-image wp-image-22727468 lazyload\" alt=\"Metro columnist Emily Clarkson\" loading=\"lazy\" data-src=\"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/SEI_164087228-4d7c-e1741951289452.jpg\">\t<\/div><figcaption>It is incredibly hard to be a mother in this day and age (Picture: Photography Natasha Pszenicki)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Hence, this is where I believe the \u2018hell\u2019 that Chappell discusses comes from.<\/p>\n<p>It is incredibly <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2023\/03\/19\/being-a-mum-is-the-hardest-job-in-the-world-and-it-is-a-job-18453215\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2023\/03\/19\/being-a-mum-is-the-hardest-job-in-the-world-and-it-is-a-job-18453215\/\">hard to be a mother<\/a> in this day and age, but it is very hard to say that out loud because when you do, society\u2019s messaging is parroted back at you. <\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve had children now, you should be fulfilled, you should be happy, every single minute of every single day, and if you aren\u2019t, then you have failed.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re told you\u2019re ungrateful and that this was your choice, and you should be happy about it. This is incredibly detrimental.<\/p>\n<p>On an individual level, it is this rhetoric that means maternal mental health is so bad. But on a societal level, it is dangerous in a whole new way.<\/p>\n<p>When women don\u2019t feel able to complain about motherhood, to acknowledge the difficulties, to highlight an issue, we prevent them from being able to demand a solution. And we desperately need a solution.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"img-container shareable-item wp-caption\">\n<div class=\"img-wrap\">\n\t\t<img width=\"646\" height=\"499\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"article-image wp-image-22683856 lazyload\" alt=\"Chappell Roan at the Rick Owens Fall RTW 2025 fashion show as part of Paris Fashion Week on March 6, 2025 in Paris, France. (Photo by Swan Gallet\/WWD via Getty Images)\" loading=\"lazy\" data-src=\"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/SEI_242779800-690b.jpg\">\t<\/div><figcaption>In spite of all of that, motherhood is beautiful (Picture: Swan Gallet\/WWD via Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<section class=\"metro-comment-cta\">\n<div class=\"metro-comment-cta__inner\"><span class=\"metro-comment-cta__text-wrap\"><title>Comment now<\/title><span class=\"metro-comment-cta__text\">Do you think people who have children are in hell? Have your say in the comments below<\/span><\/span><a class=\"metro-comment-cta__button\" href=\"#metro-comments-container\">Comment Now<\/a><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<p>It\u2019s gaslighting of a sort, but one that is so intrinsic to our society. It\u2019s so woven into the tapestry of our culture that we often never get far enough back to see the pattern.<\/p>\n<p>I personally don\u2019t think having children is hell. But I do think for a lot of women, they are having children <em>in <\/em>hell.<\/p>\n<p>They are exhausted, neglected, overstretched, undervalued, and they\u2019re having to work like they don\u2019t have jobs. On top of that, the <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2022\/12\/09\/the-cost-of-living-crisis-has-convinced-me-not-to-have-kids-17838979\/\">cost-of-living <\/a>means parents are <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2022\/07\/03\/i-had-to-quit-my-job-i-couldnt-afford-childcare-16484816\/\">making huge<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2025\/03\/16\/inside-baby-bank-people-never-think-will-this-position-22309883\/\">regular sacrifices.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>In spite of all of that, motherhood is beautiful. What we need is women on <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2025\/01\/13\/got-a-three-year-old-dont-think-motherhood-worth-22349035\/\">both sides of this divide<\/a> to acknowledge that.<\/p>\n<p>To deny the existence of the hell, to negate the bad bits and gloss over the problems, it upholds a system that on one hand takes complete advantage of mothers, <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2024\/12\/29\/wish-a-mum-felt-like-enough-achievement-22247624\/\">giving them no support<\/a>, financial or otherwise as they get on with the job lauded as \u2018the most important\u2019 one they\u2019ll ever have.<\/p>\n<p>And on the other, judges the hell out of all the women who choose a different route for themselves.<\/p>\n<p>As the divide grows ever wider, I worry that within it a truly pervasive misogyny grows.<\/p>\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing <a href=\"mailto:ross.mccarthy@metro.co.uk\" data-type=\"mailto\" data-id=\"mailto:ross.mccarthy@metro.co.uk\">Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk<\/a><a href=\"mailto:Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk\" data-type=\"mailto\" data-id=\"mailto:Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk\">.<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Share your views in the comments below.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Social media has blown up with those on both sides of the fence reacting (Picture: ETIENNE LAURENT\/AFP\/ Getty) Chappell Roan has sparked controversy by saying that all of her friends who have kids are \u2018in hell\u2019. In the March 26 episode of the Call Her Daddy podcast, she went on to say: \u2018I actually don\u2019t know anyone who is happy and has children at this age. I have literally not met anyone who is happy, anyone who has light in … <a href=\"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/index.php\/2025\/04\/01\/chappell-roans-controversial-comments-exposed-a-divide-that-mothers-are-sick-of\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> “Chappell Roan\u2019s controversial comments exposed a divide that mothers are sick of”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":506,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3824"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3824"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3824\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3830,"href":"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3824\/revisions\/3830"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/506"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3824"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3824"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.isshicare.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3824"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}